Fart Quotes - Page 2

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact.

I am happy everywhere except in places where I see glitz and rich farts. I am happiest in Brooklyn, where the concentration of rich farts is minimal.

I have a playlist of farts on my phone.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!

Right now, the old guys, the old farts, if you will, are still running the show, and the women haven't gotten their place yet at all.

I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.

If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.

Robert Plant asked me to marry him, but I said 'no.' I mean, you just don't want to marry someone you've wanted to do it with since you were thirteen, because, well, if he farts, I would, like, die!

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.

The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

A fart in the face is love.

There is Harlan Ellison the human being, who takes a crap a couple of times a day, and who farts, and who eats chicken croquettes, if I can find them. And then there is the writer, this writer-person, who is a much finer person than I. Much more orderly, much more meaningful. Worthier, than I [am].

A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this.

Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.

Art is like a fart for the soul. Better out than in.

So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled all the time and eggs came out of the back of them.

Have you been sniffing fairy farts?

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.