Fart Quotes

A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.

Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts.

Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts.

Every man knows the smell of his own fart.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

That has less significance than a dog's fart.

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.

I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right.

I fart in your general direction.

You stand out like a fart in a church.

Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God must fart and burp as well.

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.

You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!

She's a warm fart at Christmas.

I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

People dressed in a certain kind of clothing are never wrong. Also they never fart.

We're here on Earth to fart around

I know that at one time, the Arctic was the tropics. And I guess I wonder what caused that? Was it dinosaur farts? I don’t know.

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.