Golf Quotes - Page 5

The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons. ... Republicans: The No. 1 reason the rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb, and dangerous.

A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole.

Hitting a golf ball and putting have nothing in common. They're two different games. You work all your life to perfect a repeating swing that will get you to the greens, and then you have to try to do something that is totally unrelated. There shouldn't be any cups, just flag sticks. And then the man who hit the most fairways and greens and got closest to the pins would be the tournament winner.

I am decidedly unfriendly during a golf game, from the first hole to the last.

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

Beauty is Nature in perfection; circularity is its chief attribute. Behold the full moon, the enchanting golf ball, the domes of splendid temples, the huckleberry pie, the wedding ring, the circus ring, the ring for the waiter, and the "round" of drinks.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

There is an old saying: if a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them.

Life is full of many minor annoyances, and few matters of real consequence.

I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait.

Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.

Pete Dye introduced me to golf course design back in the 1960's. He came to my hometown Columbus, Ohio to work on The Golf Club.

People started coining the phrase, 'Bubba Golf,' whatever you want to call it, which I like. 'Bubba Golf' is going to be fun. I mean, why do what everybody else does? That's boring.

A leading difficulty with the average player is that he totally misunderstands what is meant by concentration. He may think he is concentrating hard when he is merely worrying.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

The mind messes up more shots than the body.

I asked my priest if it was a sin to play golf on Sunday. And he said, "It's a sin for you to play anytime."

There are no absolutes in golf. Golf is such an individual game, and no two people swing alike.

Placing the ball in the right position for the next shot is eighty percent of winning golf.

Golf giveth and golf taketh away. But it taketh away a hell of a lot more than it giveth.

Golf is like love. One day you think you are too old and the next day you want to do it again.