Tombstone Quotes - Page 5

I know it is more agreeable to walk upon carpets than to lie upon dungeon floors, I know it is pleasant to have all the comforts and luxuries of civilization; but he who cares only for these things is worth no more than a butterfly, contented and thoughtless, upon a morning flower; and who ever thought of rearing a tombstone to a last summer's butterfly?

I have tried my best to give the nation everything I had in me. There are probably a million people who could have done the job better than I did it, but I had the job and I always quote an epitaph on a tombstone in a cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: "Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damndest."

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.

Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.

Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride/ You will not die, its not poison -Tombstone Blues

All's well that ends well; which is the epitaph I should put on my tombstone if I were the last man left alive.

My closest friend, who died not long ago, is buried near Marx's grave in Highgate cemetery, so I see the gaggle of admirers laying roses at the foot of his tombstone regularly. I have never been tempted to leave flowers there myself. Great theories, shame about the practice. Marx did many things. But inventing class was not one of them.

I want one word on my tombstone - dancer.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone 'America died from a delusion that she had moral leadership.'

Here was buried Thomas Jefferson, author of the Declaration of American Independence, of the statute of Virginia for religious freedom, and father of the University of Virginia.

Human beings have got a lot of good, noble impulses inside them, and most people want to be good and do more good than they do evil. Hell, we've had nuclear weapons now for thirty or thirty-five years and nothing's happened yet. That in itself seems to be a miracle. If Reagan pushes the button or somebody pushes the button in Russia or somebody pushes it in Costa Rica, they can put a big tombstone in outer space that says, "We gave it a good try." Because we have.

Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.

I sometimes joke that when I die, my tombstone will say, 'Here lies the guy who hired Jonathan Ive.'

And alien tears will fill for him pity's long broken urn. For his mourners will all be outcast men, and outcasts always mourn.

If you're going to sit on someone's tombstone, you might as well know something about them, right?

Beloved King of Comedy.

I used to have nightmares that they would put 'He played Ted' on my tombstone.

Surely with as good reason as had Archimedes to have the cylinder, cone and sphere engraved on his tombstone might our distinguished countrymen leave testamentary directions for the cubic eikosiheptagram to be engraved on theirs. Spirit of the Universe! wither are we drifting, and when, where, and how is all this to end?

You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'roundWith tombstones in their eyesBut the pusher don't careAh, if you live or if you die

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

I conceive disgust at these impertinent and misbecoming familiarities inscribed upon your ordinary tombstone.

Some people hate funerals. I find them comforting. They hit the pause button on life and remind us that it has an end. Every eulogy reminds me to deepen my dash, that place on the tombstone between our birth and our death.

Who has not raised a tombstone, here and there, over buried hopes and dead joys, on the road of life? Like the scars of the heart, they are not to be obliterated.

I don't want my tombstone to say actress. I want it to say human being.

Don't take anything for granite. That's what tombstones are made of.