Wife Quotes - Page 25

Change everything except your wife and kids

A woman once said to me, 'Any religion that is to be any good to one must be one they make for themselves,' - and it is so. She, curiously, was a clergyman's wife.

My wife and I like to go to church if we're in town. On Sundays, I try to be as chill as I can, whether I'm watching golf or barbecuing.

Sarah lied about me. I never made the offer which she said I did. I will not advise you to break up your family - unless it were asked of me. Then I would council you to get a bill from your wife and marry a virtuous woman - and a new family but if you do not do it I shall never throw it in your teeth.

I got me a fine wife and I got me old fiddle, when the suns coming up I got cakes on the griddle. And life ain't nothing, but a funny, funny riddle.

Work takes me away from my wife, Sue, and my life in Santa Barbara.

With the exception of my wife and children, there's nothing I value more than my Oklahoma heritage.

A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

He tried to give his wife pleasure in little ways, because he had come to realize, after nearly two decades together, how often he disappointed her in the big things. It was never intentional. They simply had very different notions of what ought to take up most space in life.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a wife like everybody else and to take her out on Sundays. I have invented a mask that makes me look like anybody. People will not even turn round in the streets. You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. You are crying! You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! All I wanted was to be loved for myself. If you loved me I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased.

Wife-Mother-Actress-Author The world will remember.

The new-come stepmother hates the children born to a first wife.

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

I would say our social relationships are relatively shallow. We are actually afraid to be intimate, with people - many people even with their wives and husbands.

I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.

If you are a married man resident in Cuba, you cannot get a passport to go to the next town without your wife's permission in writing.

A woman fit to be a man's wife is too good to be his servant.

The weather's cold. My club's bad. My knee hurts. I can't putt no more. I'm off my diet. My wife is nagging me. Other than that, everything's great.

When he was dry, he believed it was alcohol he needed, but when he had a few drinks in him, he knew it was something else, possibly a woman; and when he had it all -- cash, booze, and a wife -- he couldn't be distracted from the great emptiness that was always falling through him and never hit the ground.

When you leave a good job to go off on your own and don't expect to make money for a while, you name the firm whatever your wife says you should.

I haven't been faithful to my wife. Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities. I was irresponsible.

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian, what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

Manet wanted one day to paint my wife and children. Renoir was there. He took a canvas and began painting them, too. After a while, Manet took me aside and whispered, 'You're on very good terms with Renoir and take an interest in his future - do advise him to give up painting! You can see for yourself that it's not his metier at all.