Wife Quotes - Page 27

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.

The man who sanctifies his wife understands that this is his divinely ordained responsibility... Is my wife more like Christ because she is married to me? Or is she like Christ in spite of me? Has she shrunk from His likeness because of me? Do I sanctify her or hold her back? Is she a better woman because she is married to me?

Any judge who allows an adulterer with a live-in girlfriend to terminate the life of his wife should be impeached.

Next to the defeated politician, the writer is the most vocal and inventive griper on earth. He sees hardship and unfairness wherever he looks. His agent doesn’t love him (enough). The blank sheet of paper is an enemy. The publisher is a cheapskate. The critic is a philistine. The public doesn’t understand him. His wife doesn’t understand him. The bartender doesn’t understand him.

As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.

You slam a politician, you make out he's the devil, with horns and hoofs. But his wife loves him, and so did all his mistresses.

You ask me about my ex-wife? That is not polite. But I will answer. I got another wife now. Much younger, much nicer, much prettier. And so much more intelligent than Benetton.'

My priority, the most important thing in my life is my family, my wife and my son.

I don't know if my wife left me because of my drinking or I started drinking 'cause my wife left me.

If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.

My wife comes with me on all the movies, but she is not an appendage to a film star or anything like that. She is a completely intertwined partner. She is the other half of me. Also, we're still very much in love with each other. We always have been, we always will be.

I had a happy marriage and a nice wife. I accomplished everything you can. What more can you want?

My sons and I thoroughly enjoy Legos. We go to the toy store every week for more. I never want to take what we build apart; I want to put it on a shelf. My wife is starting to get a little annoyed with the Legos lying around.

You aren't a true husband/man until you've done the work of a wife/women

My wife Ann and I had been digging during the day, transplanting lilies from the front of this abandoned farmhouse back down the road to where we live. We finished. She was tired and laid in the grass. I took a picture. The house is now gone. The walnut trees have been bulldozed and burned. I saw this picture the other day for the first time in years and realized how photographing life within a hundred yards of my front porch had helped me focus on everything I cared about.

May the bird of paradise fly up your nose, may an elephant caress you with his toes, may your wife be plagued with runners in her hose.

A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you how much you'll save. It'll be tremendous. Said my wife: I'm sure you're right, but we're already saving a fortune with our new car by not taking the bus. We're saving a fortune with our new washing machine by not sending out the laundry. We're saving a fortune with our new dishwasher by giving up the maid. The plain truth is that right now we just can't afford to save any more!

During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, 'Never paint your wife or your mother.' Then he added, 'Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.'

My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.

I am my little people's star and slave. When I go out into the barrios, I get dressed because I know my little people want to see a star. Other presidents' wives have gone to the barrios wearing house dresses and slippers. That's not what people want to see. People want someone they can love, someone to set an example.

Constancy will always be the genius of love, the indication of that strength which constitutes the poet. A man should possess all women in his wife, like those squalid poetasters of the seventeenth century who made fair Irises and dazzling Chloes of their lowly Manons.

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.