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Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 10

All Quotes Accidents Adversity Affection Age Aging Alcohol Army Art Assumption Atheism Attitude Authority Beauty Belief Boundaries Business Certainty Change Character Cheating Childhood Children Choices Church Clarinet Confusion Cooking Country Creation Critics Culture Cynicism Death Democracy Desire Devil Diplomacy Disappointment Doubt Drinking Dying Earth Education Ego Energy Envy Eternity Evidence Evil Excellence Expectations Failure Faith Fame Family Fashion Fear Feelings Finance Food Friendship Funeral Funny Future Genius Giving God Gold Growth Guilt Happiness Hatred Heart Heaven Hell History Home Honor Hope House Ignorance Imagination Independence Injustice Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Joy Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Latin Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Literature Logic Losing Love Lying Marriage Math Military Money Morality Motherhood Music Nature Nihilism Office Opportunity Optimism Passion Past Patriotism Peace Philosophy Pleasure Politics Power Prejudice Preparation Pride Property Prosperity Purpose Quality Reality Religion Responsibility Revenge Revolution Running Sacrifice School Science Silence Sin Skins Son Soul Spirituality Spring Stupidity Style Success Suffering Taxes Temptation Theology Time Truth Understanding Violence Virtue Wall War Water Wealth Wife Wine Wisdom Work Worship Writing Youth

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Family, Mothers Day, Mom

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

Time, Power, Government

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.59, 谷月社

RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".

Brother, Rattlesnakes

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.175, 谷月社

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

Country, People, Office

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.34, 谷月社

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Funny, Money, Badass

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.17, University of Georgia Press

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Saint, Saints And Sinners, Edited

Devil's Dictionary (1911) p. 306

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Kindness, Men, Tailors

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.14, 谷月社

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.

Patriotism, Fever, Stones

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2230, Delphi Classics

EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.

Religious, Food, Cooking

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.71, University of Georgia Press

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

Country, Character, People

Ambrose Bierce, Ernest Jerome Hopkins (1968). “The Ambrose Bierce satanic reader: selections from the invective journalism of the great satirist”

Habit: A shackle for the free.

Nihilism, Habit, Shackles

Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.157, ReadHowYouWant.com

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy, Manners, Etiquette

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.184, University of Georgia Press

Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

Christian, Cheating, Powerful

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.152, 谷月社

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Friendship, Happiness, Future

Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 129

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Fools Day, Months, April

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.13, 谷月社

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

Fear, Brain, Idiot

Ambrose Bierce (1984). “The Complete Short Stories of Ambrose Bierce”, p.142, U of Nebraska Press

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Food, Cooking, Madness

Ambrose Bierce (2004). “The Devil's Dictionaries: The Best of the Devil's Dictionary and the American Heretic's Dictionary”, p.41, See Sharp Press

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Funny, Sarcastic, Art

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2450, Delphi Classics

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Religious

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.226, 谷月社

LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

Heart, Science, Emotional

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.152, University of Georgia Press

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Jealous, Reality, Losing

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.115, 谷月社

optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

Beautiful, Fall, Adversity

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.175, University of Georgia Press

Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

Men, Feelings, Enemy

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2374, Delphi Classics

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.

Two, Instruments, Clarinet

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Hands, Pockets, Arms

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.105, University of Georgia Press

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