Bill Cosby Quotes about Funny

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't."

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.

Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.