You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
