Bob Hope Quotes about Golf

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.

I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.

A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.