Top 25 Quotes by Bob Monkhouse of 37 - Page 2

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, oops!

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"

Golf, Boss, Holes

I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.

Bob Monkhouse

Thinking, Saws, Phrases

"They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

I got my start in silent radio.

Bob Monkhouse

Funny, Humor, Radio

I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!

Bob Monkhouse

Funny, Humor, Home

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

Bob Monkhouse

Wife, Funny Marriage, House

"They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Bob Monkhouse

Funny, Humor, Guarantees That

Bob Monkhouse (2012). “Crying With Laughter: My Life Story”, p.329, Random House