The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.
When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
