Chelsea Handler Quotes about Drinking

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

Chelsea Handler

Funny, Drinking, Humor

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Chelsea Handler

Funny, Drinking, Humor

Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.64, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

Chelsea Handler

Party, Drinking, Two

Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.84, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

David Hasselhoff was hospitalized after falling off the wagon again. He probably got used to drinking too much, because for years he never had to worry about driving anywhere - his car drove itself.

Chelsea Handler

Drinking, Fall, Years

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.

Chelsea Handler

Funny, Lying, Drinking

Chelsea Handler (2008). “Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea”, p.236, Simon and Schuster

I don't like people who drink decaf coffee it's like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That's like drinking non alcoholic vodka.

Chelsea Handler

Drinking, Coffee, People

Nothing is more American than stuffing your face with loaded potato skins while drinking loaded mudslides.

Chelsea Handler

Drinking, Skins, Faces

People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.

Chelsea Handler

Girl, Drinking, Yelling

"Chelsea Handler Tells Katie Couric, 'Well, I Don't Make Jokes About Children'". Interview with Katie Couric, www.glamour.com. December 7, 2010.