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Chelsea Handler Quotes about Home

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Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.

Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.

Chelsea Handler
Funny, Humor, Home

Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.

Chelsea Handler
Funny, Mother, Home
"Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea". Book by Chelsea Handler, 2008.

We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.

Chelsea Handler
Home, Kids, Racism
Source: variety.com

We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close; I can do that at home.

Chelsea Handler
Cousin, Home, Dresses

I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.

Chelsea Handler
Home, Ass, Stay At Home

According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?

Chelsea Handler
Home, Night, Style

We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a bunch of space filler, nothing to really wow you. It looked like he had bought a lot of stuff from IKEA and then decided to refinish it at home. Everything was neat and tidy, but you wouldn't want any of it for yourself.

Chelsea Handler
Home, Neat And Tidy, Ikea
Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.50, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

Chelsea Handler
Baby, Home, Going Away

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