Chris Rock Quotes - Page 10

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit!

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!

I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.

I live way below my means.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

Standup comedians are attracted to one another because of their faults. So we're all kind of messed up in the same way, and once I was around a group of people that saw the world in a different way, it's like this is where I need to be.

Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

I get approached to do shows all the time. There's a lot of money in sitcoms, but I've never been the kind of guy who wanted to do one. I don't think people want to see me saying "Honey, I'm home." It's just not my thing.

I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded?

Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!

I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the little man. I think like the underdog. I don't want to change that.

The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they’re not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you’d done that in the movie, you’d have won an Oscar, girl."

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep. And when I see the Tea Party and all this stuff, it actually feels like racism’s almost over. Because this is the last - this is the act up before the sleep. They’re going crazy. They’re insane. You want to get rid of them - and the next thing you know, they’re fucking knocked out. And that’s what’s going on in the country right now.

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.

I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle.

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.

It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They called me Piece of the Rock, Plymouth Rock, Joe Rockid, and Flintstones. Now they call me Mister Rock.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy.