I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.
When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.
You gotta laugh because if you didn't you'd cry
Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!
Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels.
They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best.
This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it
I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying.
Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut.
Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.
I only like sports that Bond villains played.
Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.
Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.
I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court.
I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't.
People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
