I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."
Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
