Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
Poor people have sh*tty lobbyists.
People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
It's funny how everyone hates witch hunts... until they see a witch.
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
We could overcome the baser aspects of our nature... and give this planet the kind of caretakers it deserves.
The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
I want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege.
The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court's five conservatives. You know -- the 'defending personal liberty' guys. Which is weird because I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I'm willing to bet Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your anus.
By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing a candidate to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure to the harsh weather of independent thought.
No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.
Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.
The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot." [Hosting the Peabody Awards for broadcasting excellence at the New York Waldorf-Astoria, June 6, 2006]
Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
