Karl Pilkington Quotes - Page 2

I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.

You don't get anything done by planning

I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.

They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle... get it locked up.

A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

A problem solved is a problem caused.

Every step starts with a step.

If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat?

People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.

There's a lot of idiots in the world, so live with it.

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.

Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.

it annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. at the end of the day they're the same thing, except that squirrels have had a better upbringing.

I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.

You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.

If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.

The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.

Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!