Karl Pilkington Quotes - Page 4

I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.

I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.

Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.

Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says.

People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!

Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.

A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.

Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.

In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock.

That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog.

Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?

I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.

I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake... I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that's how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn't think about visiting.

It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.

If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it?

Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.

Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.

If you haven't got eyes, you shouldn't have wings