Larry David Quotes - Page 2

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.

I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.

I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.

There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!

Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.

People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.

I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it.

You write about what you know.

I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

I find human contact repulsive.

I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.

I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.