A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.
Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.
