Funny Relationship Quotes

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

Presence is more than just being there.

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.

In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have to marry him? Couldn't you just adopt him?

Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.

Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible that both are right.

I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

we love what we love and who we love who we love and why we love why we love and find a falling shoelace knotted and strung between the fingers of strangers

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

Seek Not Every Quality In One Individual.

I strongly believe that love is the answer and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds. Love can heal, love can console, love can strengthen, and yes, love can make change.

Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.