Louis C. K. Quotes - Page 9

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.

Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy.

I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.

I'm close to my audience. I think I have more tools in my box than other guys who might try it. Also, I know how to do this stuff. I know how to write and shoot and edit. I'm technically adept and that helped with the website. You need a big skill set.

My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.

When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.

I can't just sit on my daughter's bed and just say 'n---' all night and then put her to sleep. I just ain't gonna do that... I told the girls that these boys are racists, and they're not nice boys. But I think we can still enjoy the stories about the fishin' and the tradin'.

I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school.

God is like a shitty girlfriend.

There's people that say “It's not fair You have all that stuff.” I wasn't born with it. It was a horrible process to get to this. It took me my whole life. If you're new at this- and by “new at it.” I mean 15 years in, or even 20- you're just starting to grow traction. Young musicians believe they should be able to throw a band together and be famous, and anything that's in their way is unfair and evil. What are you, in your 20s, you picked up a guitar? Give it a minute.

I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.

I've always benefited from knowing machines well, because it's freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that.

There’s a need to perfect things in a writers’ room, and that can take a lot of fun out of a show sometimes. It’s a struggle. It depends on your personality. Some people love working with a writing staff. I had a great writing staff on Lucky Louie, but it sometimes felt like Congress or something.

Working in TV and navigating success is a tricky thing. It's easier to navigate the hard work of starting out because you just do anything they let you do, but once you get into an orbit, after the thrusters have pushed you into the orbit, now you have to navigate that orbit. There's no choices when you're starting out. You're just like, "Please, let me do anything." But then it turns around and it's like, "We'll let you do anything".

I just always loved comedy and I really wanted to be good at it. And it was heartbreaking, 'cause I started and I wasn't good at it. I was only 17-years-old, so I had a lot to learn about life in general. But I just kept on trying. I was young enough and stupid enough and I had no other choice. I had nothing else I was good at.

I love comedians. They're my community.

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth.

I was an awkward kid.

I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.

Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky; I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.