Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes - Page 8

As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.

Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.

In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.

All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.

Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.

We need empathy to give empathy.

Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.

Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.

Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.

When we judge others we contribute to violence.

As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime.

When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.

Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.

The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change.

Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.

With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.

Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.

If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve.