I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
