I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.
Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.
Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.
My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.
The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.
The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.
I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.
I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.
TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.
Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.
Doing TV is great, but TV is for starring on, not for watching.
How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?
Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.
I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.
Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.
The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.
In general, comedians are attracted to vice.
Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.
Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'
There are different types of art, and you just have to follow where things take you. It helps me with my desire to perform live. That's something that a lot of actors and actresses don't get to experience on a regular basis.
I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference.
In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.
Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.
