Noel Fielding Quotes - Page 2

I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." And it was him, but I even went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent!"

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples... it was a trick pie!

There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.

I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair.

I'm a mischievous drunk.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.

We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys

I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.

I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down!

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.

When you're a kid and someone's an artist, you think of Leonardo da Vinci. You don't think that's a job; you just think of a man with a beard painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free.

They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.

When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden.

I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.