Ogden Nash Quotes - Page 3

Celery, raw, Develops the jaw

You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.

O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.

When there are monsters there are miracles.

Home is heaven and orgies are vile, But I like an orgy, once in a while.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor.

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.

Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.

The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin, That lays eggs under your skin.