Ogden Nash Quotes - Page 6

Poets arent very usefulBecause they aren't consumeful or produceful.

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

Only the gamefish swims upstream, But the sensible fish swims down.

Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.

The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.

The song of canaries Never varies, And when they're moulting They're pretty revolting.

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.

I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer

Good wine needs no bush, And perhaps products that people really want Need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.

Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.