Ogden Nash Quotes - Page 7

When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?

The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.

There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees.

We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.

The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.

Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.

Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right

It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictators all, and I recommend to you this moral: In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

A lady is known by the product she endorses.

So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf, Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.

I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.

You can take it as understood, That your luck changes only if it's good.

How Sunday into Monday melts!

Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.

One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.

To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you're proper, shut up.

The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder.

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.