Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?
Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
I'm Liberace without a piano.
Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
My body may have been abused, but it certainly hasn't been neglected.
A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.
Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.
I laughed all the way through Love Story.
When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted
Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.
I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.
I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
I'm used to living alone, and I like it that way. You become so selfish living alone...I'd make a terrible husband anyway.
Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.
If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.
I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.
A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.
An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing.
The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.
