Ricky Gervais Quotes

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people.

Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't.

The simple fact is, offense is taken, not given.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational

Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission

We shouldn't even need the word 'atheism'. If people didn't invent ridiculous imaginary gods, rational people wouldn't have to deny them.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

I used to believe in God. The Christian one, that is (There are a few thousand to choose from. But I was born in a country where the dominant religion was Christianity so I believed in that one. Isn't it weird how that always happens?). Luckily I was also interested in science and nature. And reason and logic. And honesty and truth. And equality and fairness. By the age of eight I was an atheist.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?

I've never been insulted by hateful satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.

You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

I don't think it matters if there is a god or not. I've met people who believe in God that are good and that are bad. And I've met people who don't believe in God that are good and that are bad. So, just be good. I'm good. Not cos I think I'll go to heaven but because when I do something bad, I feel bad. And when I do something good, I feel good.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks

I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg.

I don't believe in about 2700 Gods. Christians don't believe in 2699 Gods. They're nearly as atheistic as me.

Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer

Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.