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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 38

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Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!

Terry Pratchett
Children, Hello, Babysitter
"Fictional character: Susan". "Terry Pratchett's Hogfather", www.imdb.com. 2006.

He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard," he muttered. "You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Suffering, Jelly

He'd always known that the world was an interesting place, and his imagination had peopled it with pirates and bandits and spies and astronauts and similar. But he'd also had a nagging suspicion that, when you seriously got right down to it, they were all just things in books and didn't properly exist anymore.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Imagination, Interesting

Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.

Terry Pratchett
Belief, Opinion, Manners
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Truth: (Discworld Novel 25)”, p.87, Random House

Ah," said Mr Pin. "Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens." He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.

Terry Pratchett
Remember You, Remembers You, Citizens

Only Ron's dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look. A couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. (...) The dog in front of William didn't look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear.

Terry Pratchett
Dog, Couple, Hands

You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together and hope.

Terry Pratchett
Hands, Together, Praying

I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.

Terry Pratchett
Pain, Fire, Should Have
"I Shall Wear Midnight". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2010.

But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.

Terry Pratchett
Balance, Matter, Normal
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Colour Of Magic: (Discworld Novel 1)”, p.122, Random House

Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

Terry Pratchett
Dragons, Half, Failing
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Colour Of Magic: (Discworld Novel 1)”, p.165, Random House

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

Terry Pratchett
Atheist, Atheism, Discs
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Colour Of Magic: (Discworld Novel 1)”, p.259, Random House

Fate can be one mean god at times.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Fate

Some people are heroes. And some people jot down notes.

Terry Pratchett
Hero, People, Notes
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Truth: (Discworld Novel 25)”, p.441, Random House

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind.

Terry Pratchett
Water, Mind, Hippo
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Soul Music: (Discworld Novel 16)”, p.69, Random House

I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble." "But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg. "That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, Ems, Nannies

OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?

Terry Pratchett
Noise, Said, Stockings

Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was.

Terry Pratchett
Darkness, Mountain, Forests

If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself.

Terry Pratchett
People, World, Way
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Going Postal: (Discworld Novel 33)”, p.408, Random House

You have the effrontery to be squeamish, it thought at him. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape – the great face pressed even closer, so that Wonse was staring into the pitiless depths of his eyes – we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.

Terry Pratchett
Eye, Dragons, Heartless
"Guards! Guards!". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

You’d better tell me what you know, toad,” said Tiffany. “Miss Tick isn’t here. I am.” “Another world is colliding with this one,” said the toad. “There. Happy now? That’s what Miss Tick thinks. But it’s happening faster than she expected. All the monsters are coming back.” “Why?” “There’s no one to stop them.” There was silence for a moment. “There’s me,” said Tiffany.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Here I Am, Silence

History isn't like that. History unravels gently, like an old sweater. It has been patched and darned many times, reknitted to suit different people, shoved in a box under the sink of censorship to be cut up for the dusters of propaganda, yet it always - eventually - manages to spring back into its old familar shape. History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it. History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve. It's been around a long time.

Terry Pratchett
Spring, Cutting, Thinking

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad

Terry Pratchett
Husband, Men, Wife

Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of practical magic in a world where dimensions were largely a matter of chance in any case had left it bulging in places where it shouldn't have places. There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you'd started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line.

Terry Pratchett
Years, Magic, Unseen
"The Last Continent: A Discworld Novel".

"God does not play games with His loyal servants," said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. "Whooo-eee," said Crowley. "Where have you been?"

Terry Pratchett
Games, Play, Voice
"Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (Saturday)". Book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, May 1, 1990.

I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset cos' they act like people", said Adam severely. "Anyway, if you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.

Terry Pratchett
Creating, People, Upset

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