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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 41

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You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but

You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.

Terry Pratchett
Space, Dragons, Trying

The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off. A dog's wet nose is not strictly speaking the worst of the bunch, but it has it's own peculiar dreadfulness which connoisseurs of the ghastly and dog owners everywhere have come to know and dread. It's like having a small piece of defrosting liver pressed lovingly against you.

Terry Pratchett
Friday, Dog, Monday
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Moving Pictures: (Discworld Novel 10)”, p.231, Random House

They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.

Terry Pratchett
World, Noise, Ifs

Even the blind and meek and voiceless have gods.

Terry Pratchett
Voiceless, Blind, Meek

All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.

Terry Pratchett
Mirrors, Pyramids, Insulting
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Pyramids: A Novel of Discworld”, p.5, Harper Collins

If Not You, Who Else?

Terry Pratchett
Ifs

It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.

Terry Pratchett
Air, Sound, Loud
Terry Pratchett (2010). “Diggers: The Second Book of the Nomes”, p.199, Random House

Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through anything. It does not need doors and windows -- sometimes it does not need people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever touching lips.

Terry Pratchett
Running, Doors, People
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Feet Of Clay: (Discworld Novel 19)”, p.84, Random House

Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?

Terry Pratchett
Simple, Cunning, Bother
"Thud!". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2005.

You did what you were told or you didn't get paid, and if things went wrong it wasn't your problem. It was the fault of whatever idiot has accepted this message for sending in the first place. No one cared about you, and everyone at headquarters was an idiot. It wasn't your fault, no one listened to you. Headquarters had even started an Employee of the Month scheme to show how much they cared. That was how much they didn't care.

Terry Pratchett
Care, Months, Messages

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Terry Pratchett
Style, Vampire, Bags

Whut's the plan, Rob?" said one of them. "Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right?" This caused a cheer. "Ach, 'tis a good plan," said Daft Wullie.

Terry Pratchett
Cheer, Said, Okay

Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Bridges, Cities
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Reaper Man: (Discworld Novel 11)”, p.52, Random House

It must be powerful language if you canna make oout what the heel it’s goin’ on aboot!

Terry Pratchett
Powerful, Language, Heels

Stand before your god, bow before your king, kneel before your man.

Terry Pratchett
Kings, Men, Bows

She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't.

Terry Pratchett
People, Lost, Standards
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.23, Harper Collins

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

Terry Pratchett
Children, Pull Ups, Manners

I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Insane, Impossible

Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous.

Terry Pratchett
Nice, Mean, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Interesting Times: (Discworld Novel 17)”, p.11, Random House

DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.

Terry Pratchett
Grumpiness, Sugar, Notes

Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.

Terry Pratchett
Kings, Association, Management
Terry Pratchett (1998). “The Last Continent: A Discworld Novel”, Harpercollins

Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.

Terry Pratchett
Children, Real, Drug

Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its own accord, but nobody was perfect.

Terry Pratchett
Real, Perfect, Cheese
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Wintersmith: (Discworld Novel 35)”, p.315, Random House

I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?

Terry Pratchett
Fate, Men, Wind
"A Hat Full of Sky". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2004.

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret. [Fred. Free.]

Terry Pratchett

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