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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 48

All Quotes Accidents Adventure Age Arguing Art Atheism Atheist Authority Balance Beer Belief Blame Chaos Character Children Chocolate Choices Coffee Copper Country Crime Darkness Death Dementia Democracy Doubt Dying Effort End Of The World Evil Fate Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Flying Food Football Fun Funeral Funny Genius Geography Giving Gold Goodbye Growing Up Hate Heart Heaven Hell History Home Horror House Humanity Hurt Husband Ignorance Imagination Inspiration Inspirational Jesus Journey Justice Killing Language Leaving Letting Go Life Life And Death Listening Literature Logic Losing Luck Lying Magic Mankind Manners Memories Military Moon Morning Motivational Mountain Observation Opportunity Pain Past Perspective Philosophy Police Pride Progress Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reality Religion Responsibility Romance Running Safety Sanity School Science Science Fiction Silence Sin Singing Sleep Smoking Son Soul Spring Students Stupidity Style Suffering Sunrise Travel Trust Truth Understanding Universe Violence Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Work Out Worry Writing
You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes.

You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Needs, Fetch
Terry Pratchett (1996). “Feet of Clay: A Novel of Discworld”, Harper Prism

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.

Terry Pratchett
Faces, Vetinari, Slander
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.4, Harper Collins

He felt that the darkness was full of unimaginable horrors - and the trouble with unimaginable horrors was that they were only too easy to imagine.

Terry Pratchett
Darkness, Horror, Trouble

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

Terry Pratchett
Ideas, Calendars, Might
"Wyrd Sisters". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1989.

He had never been interested in stories at any age, and had never quite understood the basic concept. He'd never read a work of fiction all the way through. He did remember, as a small boy, being really annoyed at the depiction of Hickory Dickory Dock in a rag book of nursery rhymes because the clock in the drawing was completely wrong for the period.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Boys, Drawing

Picture a tall, dark figure, surrounded by cornfields... NO, YOU CAN'T RIDE A CAT. WHO EVER HEARD OF THE DEATH OF RATS RIDING A CAT? THE DEATH OF RATS WOULD RIDE SOME KIND OF DOG. Picture more fields, a great horizon-spanning network of fields, rolling in gentle waves... DON'T ASK ME I DON'T KNOW. SOME KIND OF TERRIER, MAYBE. ...fields of corn, alive, whispering in the breeze... RIGHT, AND THE DEATH OF FLEAS CAN RIDE IT TOO. THAT WAY YOU KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. ...awaiting the clockwork of the seasons. METAPHORICALLY.

Terry Pratchett
Dog, Cat, Dark

Never cross a woman with a star on a stick, young lady. They've got a mean streak.

Terry Pratchett
Stars, Mean, Sticks

Truly, he thought, the way of enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.

Terry Pratchett
Glasses, Broken, Enlightenment
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Mort: (Discworld Novel 4)”, p.233, Random House

At some time in the recent past someone had decided to brighten the ancient corridors of the University by painting them, having some vague notion that Learning Should Be Fun. It hadn’t worked. It’s a fact known throughout the universes that no matter how carefully the colors are chosen, institutional decor ends up as either vomit green, unmentionable brown, nicotine yellow or surgical appliance pink. By some little-understood process of sympathetic resonance, corridors painted in those colors always smell slightly of boiled cabbage—even if no cabbage is ever cooked in the vicinity.

Terry Pratchett
Fun, Past, Color
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.24, Harper Collins

Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!" "Can't we do anything about it?" "No!" "Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly.

Terry Pratchett
Said, Over The Edge, Edges

Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead

Terry Pratchett
Stories, Goes On, Want
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents: (Discworld Novel 28)”, p.289, Random House

This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.

Terry Pratchett
Heaven, Gone, Ifs

Moist was sure doctors keep skeletons around to cow patients. Nyer, nyer, we know what you look underneath.

Terry Pratchett
Skeletons, Doctors, Looks

If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw up.

Terry Pratchett
Taken, Hero, Opportunity

Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?" "Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.

Terry Pratchett
Blood, People, Warning

What did they feed the lions and tigers with in the ark, sir?

Terry Pratchett
Ark, Lions, Tigers

A lot hinges on the fact that, in most circumstances, people are not allowed to hit you with a mallet. They put up all kinds of visible and invisible signs that say, 'Do not do this' in the hope that it'll work, but if it doesn't, then they shrug, because there is, really, no real mallet at all.

Terry Pratchett
Real, People, Facts

When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow's-point- of-view is seldom necessary.

Terry Pratchett
Reflection, Views, Cities
"Small Gods". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1992.

Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.

Terry Pratchett
Luck, Nine, Chance
"Equal Rites". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1987.

Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.

Terry Pratchett
Stars, Night, Clouds

Oh, well...up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.

Terry Pratchett
Good Day, Way, Kind

In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?

Terry Pratchett
Dream, Remember, Dreams Come True

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.

Terry Pratchett
Eye, Mind, Trouble
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Wintersmith: (Discworld Novel 35)”, p.177, Random House

Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.

Terry Pratchett
Hedgehogs, Bigs, Said
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Wee Free Men: (Discworld Novel 30)”, p.21, Random House

Veil, you see, if I vas to say something portentous like "zer dark eyes of zer mind" back home in Uberwald, zer would be a sudden crash of thunder,' said Otto. 'And if I vas to point at a castle on a towering crag and say "Yonder is . . . zer castle" a volf would be bound to howl mournfully.' He sighed. 'In zer old country, zer scenery is psychotropic and knows vot is expected of it. Here, alas, people just look at you in a funny vay.

Terry Pratchett
Country, Home, Eye

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