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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 49

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Gnomes live ten times faster than humans. They're harder to see than a high-speed mouse. That's one reason why most humans hardly ever see them. The other is that humans are very good at not seeing things they know

Gnomes live ten times faster than humans. They're harder to see than a high-speed mouse. That's one reason why most humans hardly ever see them. The other is that humans are very good at not seeing things they know aren't there. And, since sensible humans know that there are no such things as people four inches high, a gnome who doesn't want to be seen probably won't be seen... Wings.

Terry Pratchett
Wings, People, Four

You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that's going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake.

Terry Pratchett
Reading, Writing, Cake

The kind of accidents you prefer to call...accidents.

Terry Pratchett
Kind, Accidents
"Maskerade". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1995.

Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere.

Terry Pratchett
Wizards, Affair, Refusal
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Mort: (Discworld Novel 4)”, p.214, Random House

The singers all loathe the sight of one another, the chorus despises the singers, they both hate the orchestra, and everyone fears the conductor; the staff on one prompt side won't talk to the staff on the opposite prompt side, the dancers are all crazed from hunger in any case.

Terry Pratchett
Hate, Sight, Opposites
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Maskerade: (Discworld Novel 18)”, p.86, Random House

Aliens don't get stuck in air ducts. It's practically a well-known fact.

Terry Pratchett
Air, Facts, Aliens
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Only You Can Save Mankind”, p.98, Random House

The Chain Letter to the Ephebians. Forget Your Gods. Be Subjugated. Learn to Fear. Do not break the chain -- the last people who did woke up one morning to find fifty thousand armed men on their lawn.

Terry Pratchett
Morning, Men, People
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.177, Random House

When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.

Terry Pratchett
Tired, Men, Ankles

Are you a philosopher? Where's your sponge?

Terry Pratchett
Philosopher, Sponges
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf, And me an' my friends can walk towards you with our hats on backwards in a menacing way, Yo!

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Way, Hats
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Soul Music: (Discworld Novel 16)”, p.227, Random House

I express preference for a chronological sequence of events which precludes a violence.

Terry Pratchett
Events, Violence, Preference

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

Terry Pratchett
Race, Discworld, Humans
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Men At Arms: (Discworld Novel 15)”, p.45, Random House

Some police forces would believe anything. Not the Metropolitan police, though. The Met was the hardest, most cynically pragmatic, most stubbornly down-to-earth police force in Britain. It would take a lot to faze a copper from the Met. It would take, for example, a huge, battered car that was nothing more nor less than a fireball, a blazing, roaring, twisted metal lemon from Hell, driven by a grinning lunatic in sunglasses, sitting amid the flames, trailing thick black smoke, coming straight at them through the lashing rain and wind at eighty miles an hour.That would do it every time.

Terry Pratchett
Rain, Believe, Flames

History tends to change people who think they're changing it.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, People

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease.

Terry Pratchett
Education, Disease, Discworld
"Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 24), March 2008.

I would like to die peacefully with Thomas Tallis on my iPod before the disease takes me over and I hope that will not be for quite some time to come, because if I knew that I could die at any time I wanted, then suddenly every day would be as precious as a million pounds, if I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

Terry Pratchett
Life, Ipods, Choices

A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.

Terry Pratchett
Should Have, Should

Belief was never mentioned at home, but right actions were taught by daily example.

Terry Pratchett
Home, Example, Taught
"I create gods all the time - now I think one might exist, says fantasy author Terry Pratchett" by Terry Pratchett, www.dailymail.co.uk. June 21, 2008.

Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.

Terry Pratchett
Art, Actors, World
"Wyrd Sisters". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

As a species, we are forever sticking our finger into the electric socket of the universe to see what will happen next.

Terry Pratchett
Forever, Next, Fingers
Terry Pratchett (2014). “A Slip of the Keyboard: Collected Non-fiction”, p.83, Random House

I had a deprived childhood, you see. I had lots of other kids to play with and my parents bought me outdoor toys and refused to ill-treat me, so it never occurred to me to seek solitary consolation with a good book.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Kids, Play
Terry Pratchett (2014). “A Slip of the Keyboard: Collected Non-fiction”, p.68, Random House

Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Had Enough, Superstitious

Creatures which, lacking mankind's superior brain power, did not concern themselves with finding someone to blame, and instead tried to find someone to eat.

Terry Pratchett
Brain, Blame, Finding Someone
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Jingo: (Discworld Novel 21)”, p.171, Random House

The mountains of madness have many little plateau of sanity.

Terry Pratchett
Mountain, Littles, Madness

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but her's curiosity could have massacred a pride of lions.

Terry Pratchett
Cat, Pride, Curiosity

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