Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.
I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.
I watched a lot of comedy growing up.
When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.
I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.
There are just so many more laws and rules that apply with marriage that do not come with domestic partnership and also to me it's the commitment.
Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.
I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Writers get to stay with the piece. They don't just turn the script in and somebody else takes it over and goes out and produces it and edits it and all that stuff. We stay with the piece all the way through.
Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
I'm really funny now.
Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.
But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.
Men don't hear women.
I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
