Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.
I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.
Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.
I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
I never looked at bread the same way again
I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a stretch to imagine that another all-powerful being could exist somewhere in the universe?
It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.
I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.
I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.
You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.
It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup.
I know every politician spins the truth a little.
The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.
Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me
That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.
Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
