I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."
Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."
My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"
