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I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

Rodney Dangerfield
Suicidal, Kids, Cutting
"It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs". Book by Rodney Dangerfield, p. 4, 2004.
I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.