Beer Quotes - Page 24

The Middle Ages hangs over history's belt like a beer belly. It is too late now for aerobic dancing or cottage cheese lunches to reduce the Middle Ages. History will have to wear size 48 shorts forever.

Nature's what it's all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks.

I wish to see this beverage become common instead of the whiskey which kills sone-third of our citizens and ruins their families.

Life isn't all beer and skittles.

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.

Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. "There's your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like "Oh oh oh, I am dyin', oh I am dyin', oh oh oh, that's what I'm doin'", and there's your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!", although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That's basically all of opera, reely.

Around year seven or eight, you'd kill yourself when you realized Norm had to enter and you had to come up with a new beer joke.

Just refrigerator efficiency saves more energy than all that we're generating from renewables, excluding hydroelectric power... I cannot impress upon you how important energy efficiency is. It doesn't mean you eat lukewarm food and your beers are lukewarm. You can still have it; you just make a better thing

The attempt to make the consumption of beer criminal is as silly and as futile as if you passed a law to send a man to jail for eating cucumber salad.

A man who lies about beer makes enemies.

People care about my personal life. But really I'm dorky! I drink beer and go to football games. And ya know, sit in my house in a t-shirt on the weekends and play with my dog!

Drinking beer in a children's playground is an old Soviet tradition.

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

[I normally go-to] whiskey on the rocks. Or a beer. Or with dinner, a glass of white wine.

There's something sexy about a gut. Not a 400-pound beer gut, but a little paunch. I love that.

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.

I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have.

You're like a cold beer, darling, on a long hot summer night.

So laugh, lads, and quaff, lads, twill make you stout and hale; through all my days, I'll sing the praise of brown October ale.

And the commercials would have sickened a goat raised on barbed wire and broken beer bottles.

The secret of drunkenness is, that it insulates us in thought, whilst it unites us in feeling.

Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.

Only a pint at breakfast-time, and a pint and a half at eleven o'clock, and a quart or so at dinner. And then no more till the afternoon; and half a gallon at supper-time. No one can object to that.

I met my old lover on the street last night. She seemed so glad to see me, I just smiled. Then we talked about some old times and we drank ourselves some beers, still crazy after all these years.