Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 2

I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.

.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack." Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet

I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I.

We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.: Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.

It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.

If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.

If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt

If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

I love language, words, and all the lovely, exciting, and heart wrenching things you can do with them. Pick the right ones, put them in the right order, and you’ve created a moment in time where the reader forgets about the late car payment, the dirty dishes, the impending workweek. You have created a state of bliss. Or negligence, depending on your perspective.

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

Writing is transcendental. It is a form of expression, a form of art that you can take anywhere. That you can do anywhere. It poses the deepest questions in the universe. It generates emotion. It elicits empathy, promotes learning, creates an intellect you simply cannot get from any other medium. For me, it is air.

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson

Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity?" BUMPER STICKER

How would you like your eggs?" I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?

When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker

You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

That’s the thing about things. They tend to happen.

Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.

SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT

Genius has its limitations. Insanity...not so much" -Bumper Sticker