Darynda Jones Quotes

I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.

Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.

An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Do not disturb. Already there.

When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT

I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.

I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.

I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT

Your existence gives me a headache. Go stand over there.

Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.

Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt

I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

It is sexy in here or is it just me?

Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.

If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.

This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable.

Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.