Dorothy Parker Quotes - Page 2

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

Lady, lady, never start Conversation toward your heart; Keep your pretty words serene; Never murmur what you mean. Show yourself, by word and look, Swift and shallow as a brook. Be as cool and quick to go As a drop of April snow; Be as delicate and gay As a cherry flower in May. Lady, lady, never speak Of the tears that burn your cheek- She will never win him, whose Words had shown she feared to lose. Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

Women and elephants never forget.

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.

Writing well is the best revenge.

If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

It was written without fear and without research.

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

But I don't give up; I forget why not.

Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?