Eddie Izzard Quotes - Page 5

I'm an Action Transvestite.

In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.

In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.

If you're a performer, people tend to be quite positive about you or they have no opinion.

In Britain we have a very powerful tabloid culture with celebrities on the front page crying with their make-up smeared and tears, and it's kind of what you'd expect from someone who likes to dress up that way.

No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It's a slow burn thing. It's got an arc. Comedy is more like coke.

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Charles Darwin wrote a famous book in 18 [gibberish]. And that book was an interesting book, cuz it was called "Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You".

I've wiped the file? .... I've wiped all the files? .... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!

Peace, peace, peace. Peace is organized.

I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.

Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!

All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.

Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?

My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there!

I am someone who's very positive about business, as a social Democrat. I do like the safety net of the welfare system and people setting things and creating business, and that's what I try to do with my own work: export it around the world from the U.K.

I am encyclopaedic on World War II. My dad took me to D-Day beaches when I was a kid. I was there four years ago - every five years they have a remembrance on D-Day beaches and I would have liked to have been there and done my bit.

Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen's. They're all frumpy aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousin's marry.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?

Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.

Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no! So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?