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H. L. Mencken Quotes - Page 8

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God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.

God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.

Wealth, Rich, Divides

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in their readiness to doubt.

Believe, Men, Thinking

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

Children, Failure, Taken

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

Love, Life, Relationship

H.L. Mencken “A little book in C major”, Рипол Классик

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.

Love, Country, Patriotic

H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.616, Vintage

One of the main purposes of laws in a democratic society is to put burdens upon intelligence and reduce it to impotence. Ostensibly, their aim is to penalize anti-social acts; actually their aim is to penalize heretical opinions. At least ninety-five Americans out of every 100 believe that this process is honest and even laudable; it is practically impossible to convince them that there is anything evil in it. In other words, they cannot grasp the concept of liberty.

Business, Believe, Law

"Liberty and Democracy". Baltimore Evening Sun (April 13, 1925) as quoted in "A Second Mencken Chrestomathy: A New Selection from the Writings of America's Legendary Editor, Critic, and Wit" edited by Terry Teachout (p. 35), 1994.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

H.L. Mencken “A little book in C major”, Рипол Классик

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.

Men, Literature, Shoulders

H. L. Mencken (2015). “In Defense of Women: Human Sexuality”, p.65, 谷月社

The truth, indeed, is something that mankind, for some mysterious reason, instinctively dislikes. Every man who tries to tell it is unpopular, and even when, by the sheer strength of his case, he prevails, he is put down as a scoundrel.

Men, Trying, Mysterious

Chicago Tribune, May 23, 1926.

It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself up out of the dark abyss of pish and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

Dog, Humor, Dark

"On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe". Book by H. L. Mencken, 1956.

I believe that it should be perfectly lawful to print even things that outrage the pruderies and prejudices of the general, so long as any honest minority, however small, wants to read them. The remedy of the majority is not prohibition, but avoidance.

Believe, Long, Majority

There is no record in the history of a nation that ever gained anything valuable by being unable to defend itself.

Military, Records, Valuable

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

Peace, Freedom, War

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

Love, Marriage, Infidelity

"A Mencken Chrestomathy". Book by H. L. Mencken, 1949.

There is, in fact, nothing about religious opinions that entitles them to any more respect than other opinions get. On the contrary, they tend to be noticeably silly.

Religious, Silly, Others Opinions

H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.80, Vintage

The believing mind is externally impervious to evidence. The most that can be accomplished with it is to induce it to substitute one delusion for another. It rejects all overt evidence as wicked.

Believe, Mind, Wicked

We must be prepared to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it.

Cost, Half, Pay

Religion, after all, is nothing but an hypothesis framed to account for what is evidentially unaccounted for.

Framed, Hypothesis, Accounts

"The American Mercury" Magazine, February 1926.

The believing mind reaches its perihelion in the so-called Liberals. They believe in each and every quack who sets up his booth inthe fairgrounds, including the Communists. The Communists have some talents too, but they always fall short of believing in the Liberals.

Believe, Fall, Mind

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.

Funeral, Age, Remember

The storm center of lawlessness in every American State is the State Capitol. It is there that the worst crimes are committed; it is there that lawbreaking attains to the estate and dignity of a learned profession; it is there that contempt for the laws is engendered, fostered, and spread broadcast.

Government, Law, Liberty

All the charming and beautiful things, from the Song of Songs, to bouillabaisse, and from the nine Beethoven symphonies to the Martini cocktail, have been given to humanity by men who, when the hour came, turned from tap water to something with color in it, and more in it than mere oxygen and hydrogen.

Beautiful, Song, Food

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.

Cures, Contempt

H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.100, Knopf

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.

Mind, Liberation, Humans

"Clinical Notes". The American Mercury (January 1924), p. 75; later quoted in H. L. Mencken "Prejudices: Fourth Series", 1924.

The typical lawmaker of today is a man wholly devoid of principle - a mere counter in a grotesque and knavish game. If the right pressure could be applied to him, he would be cheerfully in favor of polygamy, astrology or cannibalism.

Men, Astrology, Games

H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.261, Vintage

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