I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.
I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again.
I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.
I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.
Life is nothing but a memory. People who dwell on the bad ones aren't going to have a whole lot of good ones coming up.
This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?
My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.
Everyone has addictions and my problem is that I have 5,000 of them. If it's not drinking, it's gambling; if it's not gambling, it's eating anything from burgers, doughnuts to M&Ms. The only addiction I don't suffer from is chasing women.
I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.
There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.
I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.
Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.
It's nice to worry about playing golf and not all the other stuff.
I've got the drinkers and the smokers and the eaters on my side.
I wasn't this nervous playing golf when I was drinking. It's the first tournament I've won on the PGA Tour in a sober manner, so it's a great feeling knowing I can do it sober. I don't think two years ago I could have pulled this off.
Seems I used to do everything like I was on a mission. If it was alcohol, I wanted to drink till I couldn't see straight. If it was golf, I wanted to beat everybody's brains out. If it was driving, I can get there faster'n you can. It's not anybody's fault, I guess. I was stubborn as hell. I had no direction.
I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.
I will just put four or five extra packs of cigarettes in my bag and I will be fine.
How you frame an issue shapes how it is viewed by others. Great advocates frame their ideas as problems that need solutions.
Most change initiatives either fail or fall far short of original (perhaps unrealistic) expectations. More often than not, resistance is cultural in nature, the result of what James O'Toole so aptly characterizes as "the ideology of comfort and the tyranny of custom."
I don't care what anybody says. The first tournament is not the hardest one to win. It's always the second one.
The only way I'll ever make the Ryder Cup team is when I become captain; then I can name myself to the team.
Granted, I could go out and lose everything (by) gambling and drinking, but there's no sense in denying it. It's in my blood.
Stories match the way our species thinks. Equally important, stories are something we share - everyone everywhere tells stories and oddly enough, in the same way. It all probably started around some campfire a million years ago.
I know there's a lot of guys who would love to see me fail. Well, good. Let 'em. I'm glad.
