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Pema Chodron Quotes about Compassion

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Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

Relationship, Real, Compassion

Pema Chodron (2003). “Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion”, p.73, Shambhala Publications

Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we're trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don't even want to look at.

Compassion, Self, Imperfection

Pema Chodron (2000). “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”, p.104, Shambhala Publications

In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.

Compassion, Order, Compassion For Others

Some of us can accept others right where they are a lot more easily than we can accept ourselves. We feel that compassion is reserved for someone else, and it never occurs to us to feel it for ourselves. My experience is that by practicing without 'shoulds,' we gradually discover our wakefulness and our confidence. Gradually, without any agenda except to be honest and kind, we assume responsibility for being here in this unpredictable world, in this unique moment, in this precious human body.

Responsibility, Unique, Compassion

Pema Chodron (2000). “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”, p.182, Shambhala Publications

Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

Compassion, Medicine, Suffering

The trick is to keep exploring and not bail out, even when we find out that something is not what we thought. That's what we're going to discover again and again and again. Nothing is what we thought. I can say that with great confidence. Emptiness is not what we thought. Neither is mindfulness or fear. Compassion––not what we thought. Love. Buddha nature. Courage. These are code words for things we don't know in our minds, but any of us could experience them. These are words that point to what life really is when we let things fall apart and let ourselves be nailed to the present moment.

Fall, Compassion, Mind

The root of compassion, is compassion for oneself.

Compassion, Roots, Oneself

We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts.

Integrity, Heart, Compassion

Trying to change ourselves doesn't work in the long run because we're resisting our own energy. Self-improvemen t can have temporary results, but lasting transformation occurs only when we honor ourselves as the source of wisdom and compassion.

Running, Compassion, Self

In tonglen practice, when we see or feel suffering, we  breathe in with the notion of completely feeling it, accepting it, and owning it. Then we breathe out, radiating compassion, lovingkindness, freshness - anything that encourages relaxation and openness.  So you're training in softening, rather than tightening, your heart. In this practice, it's not uncommon to find yourself blocked, because you come face to face with your own fear, resistance, or whatever your personal "stuckness" happens to be at that moment.

Heart, Compassion, Practice

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

Real, Compassion, Empathy

Pema Chodron (2003). “Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion”, p.73, Shambhala Publications

As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion.

Compassion, Long, Perfection

If we begin to get in touch with whatever we feel with some kind of kindness, our protective shells will melt, and we'll find that more areas of our lives are workable. AS we learn to have compassion for ourselves, the circle of compassion for others-what and whom we can work with, and how-becomes wider.

Kindness, Compassion, Circles

Pema Chodron (2000). “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”, p.110, Shambhala Publications

We give it up and just look directly with compassion and humor at who we are. Then loneliness is no threat and heartache, no punishment.

Loneliness, Compassion, Punishment

Pema Chodron (2000). “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”, p.76, Shambhala Publications

Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.

Kindness, Compassion, Self

Pema Chodron (2001). “Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living”, p.6, Shambhala Publications

Compassion starts with making friends with ourselves.

Compassion, Making Friends

Pema Chodron (2001). “Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living”, p.44, Shambhala Publications

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.

Compassion, Empathy, Mindfulness

Pema Chodron (2003). “Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion”, p.73, Shambhala Publications

Compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others.

Compassion, Working With Others, Action

we come to realize that other people's welfare is just as important as our own. In helping them, we help ourselves. In helping ourselves, we help the world.

Compassion, People, Important

Pema Chodron (2012). “Living Beautifully: with Uncertainty and Change”, p.87, Shambhala Publications

Compassion practice is daring. It involves learning to relax and allowing ourselves to move gently toward what scares us.

Buddhist, Moving, Compassion

Pema Chodron (2002). “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times”, p.66, Shambhala Publications

Cool loneliness allows us to look honestly and without aggressionat our own minds. We can gradually drop our ideals of who we think weought to be, or who we think we want to be, or who we think other peoplethink we want to be or ought to be. We give it up and just look directlywith compassion and humor at who we are. Then loneliness is no threat andheartache, no punishment.

Loneliness, Thinking, Compassion

Pema Chodron (2000). “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”, p.76, Shambhala Publications

At least once a year, I imagine that I am about to die. Looking back as truthfully as I can at my entire life, I give full attention to the things I wish hadn’t occurred. Recognizing these mistakes honestly but without self-recrimination, I try to rejoice in the innate wisdom that allows me to see so bravely, and I feel compassion for how I so frequently messed up. Then I can go forward. The future is wide open, and what I do with it is up to me.

Mistake, Compassion, Self

Pema Chodron (2007). “No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva”, p.38, Shambhala Publications

Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

Grief, Healing, Compassion

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