Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!
Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!
Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!
J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!
Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!
Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!
Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!
Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!
Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!
Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!
Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!
If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!
Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!
Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!
Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.
There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.
I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.
